Chivalry is not dead! Maybe your Expectations Are...

A couple of months ago, some of my former co-workers and I had a conversation about “chivalry being dead." Now for those of you who are not aware of the term, chivalry is “the combination of qualities expected of an ideal knight, especially courage, honor, justice, and a readiness to help the weak” www.dictionary.com. In laymen terms it means for a man to be courteous and gentle to a women. For example, he should be opening and closing your car door, holding the door for you, coming to your house and knocking on your door if he’s picking you up on a date (not texting you that he’s outside), etc. But I know you’re thinking, “what does this have to do with being virtuous?” Well, tonight I want to explore the idea that chivalry is not dead. Maybe some of your expectations are dead. Because virtuous ladies understand their worth, they are available to court and marry gentle, courteous men. “A gracious woman retaineth honor” (Pro 11:16).

As I reminisce on my last debate about “chivalry being dead” I can’t help but laugh. Surprisingly, the men too believed that chivalry is dead. They stated that women did not expect them to open the doors for them so why bother? Not to mention, because so many women work to have the “Ms. Independent title,” many men feel placed on the back burner. Of course my female co-workers disagreed with this understanding. I also had this same conversation with my brother, 22. He too stated that a lot of women don’t carry themselves like ladies anymore.

In this debate, I side with both men and women. I believe that in every dating relationship or marriage, a man and woman should play their roles effectively. (When men and women marry, GOD defines these roles precisely). But issue occurs when women do not take responsibility for their own actions. They do not surround themselves with men who have a reverence for GOD, do not carry themselves modestly, nor, communicate their expectations from their men. How can you expect a man to treat you like the “…far beyond rubies (Pro31: 10)” that GOD has presented you when you don’t carry yourself like his child?

Even men who grew up with virtuous mothers, grandmothers, and sisters do not always understand how women should be treated. The truth is if you desire a respectful man, seek the kingdom of GOD and ask for him to send you a GODLY man (and make your prayers specific). Ask GOD to prepare your heart for the right spouse and to send you a man that is dedicated to him. From there, you may also include that your man bring you flowers for no reason, opens and closes the car door, attends church with you, meets your family, and prepares surprise dinner dates. And If a Christian man is dating you right now, more than likely, he is looking at you as his potential wife. Therefore, he is probably expecting you to expect a great deal from him. If you’re married and your hubby has been slacking in the chivalry department, communicate your needs. Remember, he is to love you even as Christ loves the church (Eph5:25).

I am almost certain, that if we do our parts as virtuous ladies, the men in our lives will step up and play their roles effectively. Stop worrying about what your mate is doing, and starting focusing on what GOD wants you to do. Prepare yourself as a child of GOD, and GOD will take the care of the rest… And that includes a man who has chivalry living in his bones!

Until Next Tuesday,

KPA

Once raised by a Virtuous single mother, I am now a strong Virtuous Fashionista, who has high expectations of me, who has been created in GOD’s own image, who lovingly submits to my spouse, who understands GOD's love, has an intimate relationship with GOD, supports Breast Cancer Awareness, with a family who honors me, Virtuous friends who love me, and with a giving spirit.